Just a little Lust

Lust is one of those natural parts of life that people talk about and think about an astonishing amount of the time. Every culture has tried to regulate how we think about and talk about lust, whether approving it or disapproving it. The times and places when lust is acceptable vary by culture, by religion, by age .. There are no hard and fast rules about lust, but everyone has an opinion.

In FlameKeeping, what matters is not so much the emotion as our reaction to it. Lust is an emotion that can be dangerous, both because it can be overpowering and because it does not care about social mores and civil rules. The part of our brain that thinks about procreation does not care that you are married, that the person you are looking at is married, or anything else. You simply have an intense feeling of desire. So then what?

Lust is a controllable emotion. Not the first hot flush of it, necessarily, but everything we do after that is our own choice and our own responsibility. We can choose to dwell in our reaction, knowing it is inappropriate, or we can choose to redirect our minds to something else. Our culture bombards us with messages of lust on a regular basis. There are provacative people on the television, on billboards, selling everything from cars to toothpaste. There is a constant message that we should act on our feelings of lust, that they should be used, that if we just buy whatever product or do whatever act we're being told about we will have our lustful fantasies fulfilled.

We need to learn to deal with lust. There's nothing wrong with the emotion itself, but there can be very wrong things with our reaction. If you are feeling lust towards your spouse, or you are available and feeling lust towards someone that is also available, then it is the responsibility of the people involved to decide what they want to do about it. But when you feel lust that isn't appropriate, the feeling of the emotion is no excuse for whatever action you wish to take.

The problem is not the emotion. The emotion is a natural part of life and responsible for the continuation of that life. (how many of us would be here if our parents hadn't felt lust?) The problem is people acting as though the emotion is license, which it is not. What you feel is one thing. How you act is another.

Questions:
How is lust appropriate in your life? How is it inappropriate?
What do you do when you feel attracted to someone that's totally inappropriate for you to go after? Do you think it's the right reaction?
How do you react when people try to use lust to sell things to you? Does it work? Do you think it's appropriate?

Privacy

What does privacy have to do with FlameKeeping? After all, if you're not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to need privacy about it, right?

Wrong. Scrutiny changes us. When we are watched, we are of the Bright Flame, acting in public. Only in private and with privacy can we renew our Dark Flame.

Being watched changes our behavior. When we know someone can see us, we feel that we must be careful what we say, how we say it. There are acts we are only comfortable with in private (hence our bathrooms!) and thoughts we only seem to think when there is no one to distract us. We absolutely require these times of peace, of privacy. These are the times when we regenerate, when we feel able to experiment with who we are and what we want to be. When we give ourselves permission to try something new, to do something badly and fail because we only care about the joy of the experience. There's a reason many people only sing when they're alone in the shower. Without that space of freedom and privacy, we lose an important part of ourselves.

The question is not what it is we have to fear. The question is, how much of ourselves are we willing to lose?

Questions:
How do you view privacy? Do you respect your own? Other people's?
What do you do only alone? Would you miss it if you lost it?
Do you respect your Dark Flame's need for renewal? Can you still have a Dark Flame in public?

Pride

What is pride? That feeling we get when we simply feel we might burst with joy, when we feel that we have accomplished something mighty, or are something mighty. It can be felt for another, that joy in another's ability or being. And it is one of the most written about, talked about, dissected emotions. It is not good or evil in itself, but it can be both at the same time in context.

Pride can be dangerous. It becomes an addictive feeling, to feel that joy and power. We want to feel it to the point that we feel it regardless of earning it. We ignore our weaknesses and revel in our power, not looking at the ground beneath our feet because our heart is soaring. When we do this, it's a bad thing. We can't just go around pretending there is no ground because we don't want to deal with it right now.

At the same time, pride is a motivator. We want to feel good about ourselves, accomplished, powerful. And there's nothing wrong with that. The desire to accomplish has driven humanity into accomplishing great things, powerful artwork, and becoming what we are. That desire to feel powerful resonates throughout our most meaningful experiences.

Pride is not the problem. It is what we take our pride in, how we use it. Like any other emotion, it can be a gift or a curse. When we use our pride to feel better than our fellow human, and denigrate others to give ourselves a good feeling, pride is our downfall. When we ignore other people in our pride because we feel so good, it is our downfall. When it motivates us to become better people, it is a great blessing.

Questions:
Where do you feel pride? Did you earn it?
How do you react to pride? Does it motivate you? Slow you down?
Does pride in other people motivate you? Scare you? Mean anything at all?

Seeking Truth

Truth is an odd subject. We want to know the truth about things, to the point that we try to shrink reality to fit into our truth-box rather than accepting that it simply doesn't fit. There are many ways we try to force reality to fit our preconceptions so we can have a handle on the truth of it all.

We can't ever know the entire truth, especially not about big questions like the nature of the Universe and of the Divine. We will always be dealing with approximations, attempts, language that says more by what is not said than by what is. This doesn't mean we shouldn't look for it.

What makes us human is what we strive for, not simply what we are. We seek to know truth, to discover knowledge, to create beauty. These things are not simply individual acts, but a deep calling of our soul as an expression of the Divine. We need to seek these things out, while at the same time never being done with what we have found. Truth isn't something to be found once, or a piece of once, and done with. Beauty cannot be created just once and then admired. Knowledge cannot simply be found. These are strivings, forever seeking and forever falling short. But it's not the success that matters, it's the attempt.

Questions:
What do you seek? What do you find?
Do you try to keep knowledge, truth, or beauty boxed up? Do you think you have answers that will survive scrutiny?
Are you content with the knowledge that there will always be answers you don't have and pieces you're missing? Do you feel the need to have an answer to everything?