Second Glances at First Thoughts

Being human, we all have thoughts and ideas about others and the world around us. Often, our first impression about others is based on assumptions triggered from within ourselves. Life experience, stereotypes, personal problems, instincts, any of these things can create assumptions or perceptions.

Many times these assumptions are negative. Everyone has negative perceptions and thoughts. Being human, this is inevitable. Some may be valuable in that they serve to keep us safe, especially when triggered by instincts. Other negative assumptions or perceptions are unfounded, useless, and a waste of time. These can hinder us in our interaction with the Divine.

Everyone is a part of the Divine, and giving a second thought to a negative assumption is a good exercise in recognizing the Divine in others. Taking a moment to assess the origin of our perceptions in an effort to validate them can, over time, aid in reducing inner barriers that keep us from seeing the Divine in others. People have reasons for what they do, reasons that have much more to do with their own lives than ours. When someone does something like cutting us off in traffic, they're not behaving to irritate us. They're focusing on their own life. (This is not an excuse for wrong behavior: just an attempt to understand it and recognize its inpersonality).

This is not to say that we should go around painting everything with a rosy picture. After all, many of our perceptions are correct. However, giving a second thought and attempting to remove the unfounded assumptions, stereotypes, and internal blinders in ourselves allows us to see the Divine more clearly, both within ourselves and in others.

Questions:
Do you see others as they are or as you think they are?
Do you harbor unfounded stereotypes? And if so why, and what can you do to see past them?
Do you assume the negative in a situation, and if so why?

So your annoying neighbor is Divine ...

Now what?

It's easy to say someone is Divine. It's much harder to act that way, in a way that respects both the divinity of the neighbor and yourself. Especially when everything they do irritates you. So how do we handle this?

First we need to examine our own feelings. How do we feel towards this person? The more angry we are, the more careful we have to be. While there's nothing wrong with appropriate anger (indeed, it's better to admit you're angry than it is to try and deny one's own feelings), having a right to be angry does not mean a right to act on that anger. And it certainly does not let someone act in whatever way they wish. Anger is not an excuse for action.

Now we need to think about what is appropriate. It is appropriate to try to get a person to stop behaving in a way that interferes with our own Divinity. There's nothing immoral about calling the cops on someone that's playing loud music at 3AM and keeping one from sleeping. There's also nothing wrong about going over and asking yourself. There is something wrong with going over to pick a fight with someone because the music's loud, however.

The other person is Divine. They have a right to their own desires and their own space, and we cannot wish them (or at least not profitably) to be other than they are. Instead, we need to see them as they are and accept that, even if what they are to us is supremely annoying. And while we have a right to protect ourselves from being transgressed upon, so must we also make certain we are not in our anger transgressing. We can do anything reasonable to try and create peace between us. We can wish the person far away and happy. But we cannot take matters into our hands to get revenge for slights, imagined or real.

Remember, what we do, we do to ourselves as well as to other people. No matter how much the other person irritates us, when we let ourselves focus on them instead of on our own growth, we let the irritation with the other person win over ourselves. We give a piece of ourselves up to this person that we claim we cannot stand, and lose our ability to be happy in ourselves.

Actual choices of what we do depends on the situation. The important thing to do is to not let the person dwell in our minds and consume our thoughts. This person is Divine. Let them be Divine separate from us, and move onwards.

Questions:
What does it mean to you that someone you can't stand is Divine as well? What would change if they weren't?
How do you want to treat people? How do you actually do it? Why is there a difference, if there is one?
How can you make peace with people that irritate you without compromising yourself?

Parachuting Transformation

Transformation is a scary idea and a scary process. It is easy to look at ourselves and see things we wish to improve. It's much harder to actually approach that cliff of transformation and ponder throwing ourselves over it. This essay is not about the act of transforming, but instead how to do so.

The problem, of course, is that transformation is like jumping over a cliff. To actually do it requires resolve and a refusal to ever look back, much less go back. And it requires resolve to see that there's a chance we may end up hurt. Like any cliff, flinging ourselves over it carelessly is more likely to involve pain than growth, both for ourselves and for those around us. Unlike an actual cliff, when we throw ourselves over transformation, we drag bits and pieces of other people with us and risk hurting far more than just ourselves.

When we're looking at transforming, we tend to pace back and forth across that cliff edge, looking for an easy way down. We want to find the shortcut, the way to go forward without risk, without fear. There is never a real shortcut, however. We sometimes think we've found an easy way, but it tends to be either ineffectual or worse than just jumping.

What we need to do is find a way to create our own parachute for the leap. We can't rely on other people to give us a push, because no one else can make us transform. We need to find a way to spin a parachute out of our own Flame and put our faith in ourselves and the Divine and jump intelligently.

What is an intelligent jump? There are things we can do to minimize impact. First of all, when we realize we're coming up on a major life-changing event, it helps to do our best to remove all other obstacles. When facing the cliff, it's the wrong time to look at new relationships, getting a pet, changing jobs, or anything not directly related to the cliff in question. (Sometimes it is the job or the relationship - but then don't do the other big things!) Smooth out all the things that can be smoothed ahead of time. Be gentle with ourselves when we approach the cliff.

And, of course, most importantly: when we realize we're prepared enough, to boot ourselves over instead of waiting and circling and looking for a better way. Sometimes, all there is left to do is leap.

Questions:
What transformation fears you? What are your cliffs?
What would you use as a parachute? Where will you get it?
What do these cliffs and transformations mean to you? What do you expect to find on the other side?

What is FlameKeeping?

FlameKeeping is a religious path that celebrates the Divine Within and the Divine Without, the nature of the Universe being that of a self-aware, Divine Entity, of which we are all parts. The basic nature of the Flame is that we are all Divine, and we must seek inside ourselves to find that Divine Nature. When we see the Divine in ourselves and in each other, we find we have the potential to make the world a better place through improving ourselves.

We are all individual, part of a group, and a piece of the Indivisible Divine Universe. There is no contradiction here, even though it appears to function in paradox, because our individuality is not threatened by being part of something greater as well. Our life functions as individual, but what we do radiates outward to the Universe, and then radiates back to ourselves. No action occurs in a vacuum.

Being a FlameKeeper involves improvement of self, not monetarily but spiritually. We need to find ourselves: first who we are, then who we want to become. We do have the potential to change ourselves and become better than we are. The path to finding our better selves is difficult, but we can support each other and find our own centers.

FlameKeeping is a path that involves self-improvement with the goal of improving both oneself and the world around one. It recognizes that we all live in embedded relationships, and cannot separate ourselves from the world around us. The goals are local, but the focus is upon the entire Universe.

On Charity

Why do we give? What do we give?

These are not meaningless questions. While to some people it is enough to simply donate old things (and this should not be discounted, either. Giving at all is more important than doing it "right"), the question of why and how we do it also matters considerably.

We are all of the Divine: both the giver and the receiver. When we give to prove our superiority or to show off how much we can do, we are denying the divinity of the person or group we are giving too. Many of the charitable organizations that exist as I write this seem to do all they can to strip away the faces or the worth of the people from the giving. One gives because they are lesser, poorer people, not because they are people in need that could just as easily been you, and not because they are also Divine. Charity courts the giver with what giving can do for the giver: fancy dinners, concerts for charity, and other such things. Often these events are lucky to cover their costs, and none of the money actually goes to its desired location. So we get the "pleasure" of giving without even having to give anything to the disadvantaged.

What does this mean? It means we are lying to ourselves when we believe we're doing something good. It also means that we're doing the minimum considered "necessary" for whatever reason we consider it so, and we're not thinking about the people at the other end of the giving. But charity, whether given directly or through government aid, is worthless if all it does is keep someone down. The goal isn't to give enough to let them live another day, although that is necessary too. But the goal is to give them the chance they need to stand on their own feet and not need any more handouts. When done correctly, charity gives people their lives back, not just a meal. Meals are important, clearly. But getting back to a point where the person can feed themselves is even more so, even if it means we've no one to be charitable to. (and that would be a glorious day, when charity would be no longer needed at all).

We are all of the Divine, both the advantaged and the disadvantaged. What we must do is remember this, and do what we can to get the disadvantaged back on their feet. Because it could just as easily be us there and the other person standing over us, wondering. And even more, because they too are part of the Divine and deserving of a hand up, regardless of why they need it. While there are times that what people need most is to be left to fall down on their own, be very sure that you're not tarring everyone with that brush because it's easier than giving.

(and by giving, I do not mean that it has to be money. Time and skills are also gifts. There are jobs that are giving even though the person gets paid, because of what the job is. Don't limit yourself to thinking of charity as a money-only operation. The best gifts are often the ones that are given outside of the faceless charity machine that turns money into food. While those operations are necessary, we cannot give and then remove the poor from the world we see. Don't just give money into the system. Where you can, change the system for the better).

Questions:
What do you give? Why?
What do you think about charitable systems? Do they work? Do they exist to give a hand up or a hand out?
If you could change any charitable system, what would you change? In what way? Now why aren't you doing it?