Dreams of Perfection and Ego

We all carry multiple selves with us. The Hero. The Lover. When we interact with other people, each person has a self that speaks, and hears, and obscures the truth behind idealizations. The Winner. The Loser. We all do this, to an extent, and we treasure those dreams of ourselves, both the good and the bad. The Pious. The Sinner. When we find ourselves without masks, without a role to play, we are often struck silent with fear or confusion. The Strong Man. The Hermit. Seeing a true picture of ourselves, or even a truer picture than previously seen, can be frightening in its intensity.

Yet we are shackled by our illusions. They hold us in ways that keep us from truly changing, truly becoming better. "I am the Hero, I don't need to worry about ethics, I can't help but do what's right." "I am the Powerless, everything happens around me. I have no control and do no harm, for I do nothing." The more we use these illusions in our lives, the more they become our lives, and the harder change becomes. People expect certain attitudes, certain behaviors, and we act the part we've given ourselves to keep the peace and keep ourselves from seeing dissonance in our lives.

As children, we learn certain feelings and actions are not acceptable. As we grow older, we incorporate both the spoken and unspoken norms of our society, holding to those beliefs and attitudes that cause us the least dissonance with ourselves. We find ways to make our actions fit our image of ourselves, no matter what the necessary justification to ourselves, and assume that other people see us as we see ourselves or as we desire ourselves to be seen. Even though the pieces don't always match, and the masks slip and stretch to cover us as we wish to be seen and not as how our actions brand us, we hold to the beliefs that we are what we wish to be and have no need to grow and change.

We cannot change our true self, and become better people, until we realize who we are and how other people see us. Yet we fear our true selves. They are vulnerable, the reason for the masks in the first place. We can never fit completely into the proper role our society sets for us, the role we feel we should play yet do not. Do not show fear, weakness, ignorance, or anything else that does not fit the role we are to play in society. Especially to ourselves, we cannot show our true nature, for that nature does not match the nature we wish it to be. Our true selves cannot help but be weak, cannot help but have fear, cannot help but be ignorant. Not always, of course, but no one knows everything, fears nothing, and is undefeatable. It simply does not exist. So we hide our weaknesses with masks and shields, lying even to ourselves that we do not fear, or believing that no one will notice our fears.

When we come to religion, to the Divine, we come with our masks, hoping to hide behind them, be accepted for them. But the Divine sees no masks, only the truth of each person. For many people, this is a terrifying experience, even as it is freeing. No masks, no illusions, no questions, just the real person standing there without covering before the Divine. And we find fear, both of ourselves and of the other, because we don't know how to live without our masks, and we don't know how to face the power of the Divine without the safety of our masks. All the thoughts of the masks, seeking to hide that which we dislike, pretend to be that which we are not, stills, and we find ourselves quiet, and alone with ourselves. There, quiet with ourselves, we find the Divine waiting for us to turn to It.

Until we face ourselves, and see ourselves without our masks, we cannot easily face the Divine, because what we see is our own masks looking back at us, coloring everything we learn.

Questions:
What are the masks you wear and why?
What dissonance do these masks cause in your life?
How do you drop your masks? How do you live without them?