Membership and Separation
We belong to groups, ideals, religions, creeds, and races. The very act of belonging is important to us; it gives us meaning and companionship, a bulwark against the loneliness of the human condition. In return for that gift of companionship, we do for those in the group what we would not do for those outside it.
The Divine surpasses groups, defies group definition. We are all part of the Divine whether or not we believe in it or care about it. There is, at heart, no out group, for we are all made up of a greater Self, and when we connect to that Self we lose the illusion of being alone.
When we deny our commonality, our greater Self, we feel free to behave differently, even cruelly, to those we see as an out-group. We deny our universal nature to justify our behavior, our lack of compassion. We blame those in the out-group for their out-group status, figure out ways to believe they picked out-group status for themselves in a way that makes them look bad, wrong, or evil, and use that as justification for whatever we wish. After all, they are outsiders, and that makes them wrong.
When we believe that all people get what they deserve, we find ourselves denying reality itself. Not only that, but a large part of understanding of how to associate with other people is gone. We all need help sometimes, regardless of the choices we make or the beliefs we hold. Only extending that help to those that match our religious convictions or personal friendship implies that people outside that circle do not deserve help, denying their humanity and need.
While we do, and should, react to those closest to us before we reach out to those farther away, that does not mean we can refuse to help those in need at all. Indeed, it is our duty, as fellow-humans, as part of the Divine, to extend that Divine love with each other as well. There are no answers in isolation, only lies.
Questions:
What harm does loneliness bring? Why is it true? Why is it illusion?
Why do we form groups?
How do we find compassion for people that are for some reason out-group?
The Divine surpasses groups, defies group definition. We are all part of the Divine whether or not we believe in it or care about it. There is, at heart, no out group, for we are all made up of a greater Self, and when we connect to that Self we lose the illusion of being alone.
When we deny our commonality, our greater Self, we feel free to behave differently, even cruelly, to those we see as an out-group. We deny our universal nature to justify our behavior, our lack of compassion. We blame those in the out-group for their out-group status, figure out ways to believe they picked out-group status for themselves in a way that makes them look bad, wrong, or evil, and use that as justification for whatever we wish. After all, they are outsiders, and that makes them wrong.
When we believe that all people get what they deserve, we find ourselves denying reality itself. Not only that, but a large part of understanding of how to associate with other people is gone. We all need help sometimes, regardless of the choices we make or the beliefs we hold. Only extending that help to those that match our religious convictions or personal friendship implies that people outside that circle do not deserve help, denying their humanity and need.
While we do, and should, react to those closest to us before we reach out to those farther away, that does not mean we can refuse to help those in need at all. Indeed, it is our duty, as fellow-humans, as part of the Divine, to extend that Divine love with each other as well. There are no answers in isolation, only lies.
Questions:
What harm does loneliness bring? Why is it true? Why is it illusion?
Why do we form groups?
How do we find compassion for people that are for some reason out-group?
posted by Vieva @ 5:12 PM
2 Comments:
At 2:59 PM,
Star said…
Interesting essay. But... Is out-group always bad? I know, because I know you, that you're not arguing for homogenization here, but the essay itself almost sounds like you are. When you talk so much about how we see out-group as bad and wrong, and then about how we should accept that we're all part of the group... It almost sounds like a "hey, we're all really the same".
Study questions... You'd think this one would have been harder on me, but apparently I have managed to learn something along the way.
1. Loneliness... Loneliness does not so much "harm" as "eat one alive from the inside", if allowed to fester unchecked. I'm not sure it's possible to adequately describe it. But... It's not the same thing as isolation, particularly when you're talking about a group isolating itself from out-group. Isolation in the context of this essay is voluntary and embraced, I think, restricting oneself to one's own social/religious/etc. circle. Loneliness... implies a hunger, a longing to be with other people. No... not just to be with them. To connect. To break the barrier of isolation, if only there were someone to reach out to who would understand. In that sense, I suppose it is illusion in that there's often someone there who will understand, if you could only make yourself reach out. But it's true in that if we don't reach out, then no, there is no one who will understand us.
I'm having another one of those days when I feel like I'm typing gibberish and I wonder if anyone besides myself will be able to make sense of it...
2. We form groups because ultimately humans are not self-sufficient beings. Some people are able to manage quite nicely off on their own, being self-sustaining, generally not interacting with others except in certain areas where the need is imposed by humans in the first place (like buying land, getting permits for things like building and hunting, etc.), but most of us can't. Forming groups, on the most practical level, helps make the things we need to do in order to survive easier by spreading out the tasks. It also provides us with a support structure, a safety net if you will, so that when something goes wrong we don't have to deal with it alone.
And why, as I type that last bit, do I feel the hair raising on the back of my neck like it's anticipating a clue-by? *G*
AACK. Facetious question, I swear. Honestly.
3. I think finding compassion for out-group is a very difficult thing to do. The thing is... Often we find compassion for those who are different from ourselves by looking for the similarities between us. But that isn't finding compassion for out-group, that's assimilating out-group into the group. To truly feel compassion for out-group, I think we have to not try to force them into the mold of the group, but rather understand what it is that they are, that they want, that they need, that they hold sacred. Only when we really understand that can we truly feel compassion for them.
At 3:22 PM,
Vieva said…
I'm not so much arguing for homogenization as recognizing that group labels are all false, and transcending them.
can't help with the hair-on-the-neck thing. :D
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