Inner Relations
Religion speaks of the relation of a person to themselves, of how we relate with ourselves when there is no one else to see us. How we temper our minds and hearts and learn to be the best person we can be. It is easier in many ways to simply look at religion as how we relate to the Divine, but when we remove ourselves from the equation we remove that which chooses and gives force to our choices.
We are each the person we spend all of our time with, the person whom our relation with affects all other relations. When we like ourselves, we are more likely to like other people. When we see ourselves as connivers, as people out to get the most for ourselves, we see other people as falling only into the categories of user and sucker. How we see ourselves affects everything in our lives.
Which begs the question of how we are supposed to see ourselves. There is not one simple answer. It’s not a matter of simply saying we should be X or Y and forcing ourselves into that mode, for we are all different people with different needs and desires. When we try to force ourselves to be other than we are, we simply make ourselves and those around us miserable.
Instead, we must first learn to love ourselves. Not as the young girl that preens in the mirror, but a true affection for who and what we are. In seeing ourselves as we are, we are bound to find flaws that we do not like, and start to work to change them. It is when we find ourselves worthwhile that we can even begin to try and make ourselves better.
We are each the center of our own Universe, the primary actor in our own personal dramas. When we treat ourselves with respect and room to grow, we give ourselves and the world around us a chance to improve as well.
Questions:
How do you find love for yourself? What about that is hard? Is easy?
What does being the center of your own Universe mean to you? What does it mean to know that everyone else you know is ALSO the center of the Universe to themselves?
How do you see yourself? How accurate is that image? Is there something you’re trying to hide from yourself?
We are each the person we spend all of our time with, the person whom our relation with affects all other relations. When we like ourselves, we are more likely to like other people. When we see ourselves as connivers, as people out to get the most for ourselves, we see other people as falling only into the categories of user and sucker. How we see ourselves affects everything in our lives.
Which begs the question of how we are supposed to see ourselves. There is not one simple answer. It’s not a matter of simply saying we should be X or Y and forcing ourselves into that mode, for we are all different people with different needs and desires. When we try to force ourselves to be other than we are, we simply make ourselves and those around us miserable.
Instead, we must first learn to love ourselves. Not as the young girl that preens in the mirror, but a true affection for who and what we are. In seeing ourselves as we are, we are bound to find flaws that we do not like, and start to work to change them. It is when we find ourselves worthwhile that we can even begin to try and make ourselves better.
We are each the center of our own Universe, the primary actor in our own personal dramas. When we treat ourselves with respect and room to grow, we give ourselves and the world around us a chance to improve as well.
Questions:
How do you find love for yourself? What about that is hard? Is easy?
What does being the center of your own Universe mean to you? What does it mean to know that everyone else you know is ALSO the center of the Universe to themselves?
How do you see yourself? How accurate is that image? Is there something you’re trying to hide from yourself?
posted by Vieva @ 3:37 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:57 AM,
Star said…
*peers at Shadow* How is it that you happened to post the essays I need to read?...
I think there's more to this than you've got down, though. I hadn't thought of religion in this light before, but you do have a good point. However... doesn't the Divine, by definition, kind of have to be part of it too? I understand the concept of us being a part of the Divine and I suppose it follows that if we're relating to ourselves, we're relating to the Divine... But is it really that simple? If we focus on ourselves, is it possible to simply forget that we're part of the Divine and just get all selfish and vain and stuff?
I still feel like I'm not making any sense... Did you ever have one of those days when you feel like you're using English words but actually speaking a completely different language, and wonder if anything you say at all makes any sense to anyone or if what you're saying is just gibberish? That's how I feel today.
Study questions...
1. I've known for years that I have a problem with this one. I've tried finding love for myself by trying to fix my flaws, which doesn't usually work quite the way it seems like it should, and by accepting my flaws, which doesn't work either because I just can't freaking do it. I've tried to do good things, things I can be proud of myself for, and sometimes it seems like it works... But pride is not love, and typically in the end I wind up just seeing all the ways I messed up along the way to the good thing. I suppose, to answer the last part of the question, the easy part is seeing a way to fix it; the answers always seem so obvious. The hard part is actually following through, and making it stick.
2. That phrase has unfortunate connotations to me... I always think of someone who's so self-absorbed that they don't care about anyone else. But maybe that's part of my problem here; it doesn't necessarily mean that, but that's what I associate the phrase with, so it makes me uncomfortable to try to make myself the center of my Universe, as it were. So I can't do it even in a somewhat healthy way. As for everyone else, well, I pretty much expect that. You gotta take care of yourself, you know. *shrug*
3. We'll just leave it at that I have a poor self-image. The stupid thing is that, intellectually, I know it's not accurate. I know I'm not half as bad as I think I am. But I can't help it. As to the final bit...
...Is there? I don't know. The question has caught my brain, though, which tells me... maybe? I thought I'd been through all the brutally honest stuff before, but... I don't know, now. Maybe if I can find out it will help.
At 1:15 PM,
Vieva said…
There's supposed to be three essays as a cycle .. Inner Relations, Human Relations, and Divine Relations. Divine Relations appears to be completely missing. in fact, I'm not positive I ever wrote it, although I thought I did. I also am not sure if I did write it, where I PUT it. my disorganization strikes again.
I think it's certainly quite possible to focus too much on oneself and forget about the rest of the Universe. But it's also equally possible to do the opposite .. and both are a dangerous imbalance for the person.
As far as why these are the important ones .. blame the Universe. :D
I had some issues with the phrasing myself .. it IS uncomfortable using "Center of the Universe" as a good thing. And I think there's a good reason for that culturally. But we get so bound up in denying ourselves that we forget ourselves, and that's not right either.
It's a question of balance, I think. Balance in three directions .. inward, outward, and to the Divine. None of those can be neglected, but we're trained to focus in an imbalanced fashion. We need to rebalance ourselves, and part of that is accepting that we need caring too .. while not letting it overpower everything else.
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