Someone you love is Divine ...
How do you handle it?
Love is complicated. We like to think it's simple. That love is an answer, not a question or a process. But love doesn't give us answers. It demands work and effort even as it gives fulfillment.
The biggest problem with loving someone is the blurring of ego boundaries. It's very easy to look at someone you love and see that person as a part of yourself. To deny that person's individuality and see only what that person does for you. But that's not love: that's when love goes wrong. Love is appreciating a person as they are and wanting the best for them. When we're talking about romantic love, that often includes a strong desire to be with that person as much as is feasible. But it's still wanting to be with the person as they currently are. When your definition of love involves molding the person into something "better", what you have is not love.
Familial love can be trickier. We see ourselves in our children, and our parents see themselves in us. It's difficult to see a child's individuality, especially since it is the job of the parent to guide behavior. Finding love instead of domination can be difficult for some people. It's easy to see oneself as part of a family and forget the individuality of the people involved. But family, especially parenthood, involves helping the child grow into the best individual the child can be, not living out one's own dreams through the child.
Love involves a lowering of ego boundaries. When we love, our Flame grows closer to that of our beloved. Love nurtures our Dark Flame and brightens our Bright Flame. We lose something of ourselves when we refuse to love, and we become greater when we open our hearts and let our Flame dance. When we refuse to risk our Flame by opening up to those around us, we stifle our Flames and sputter in our lives.
Love fails and turns into something else when we fail to recognize other people as separate individuals. Love can blur boundaries, as we put the happiness of those we love as a condition for our own happiness. But we are not the ones we love, and they are not us. Celebrating their Flame requires seeing it as not part of our own.
Questions:
How does love blur ego boundaries in your life? Who's ego gets subsumed: yours or the one you love? Either?
Flames burn bright when they burn together. Do you share your life with the ones you love? Do you cling to your ego barriers, or lower them to share your Flame equally?
Do you nurture the Flames of those you love? Do they nurture yours? Can you share love without counting the cost to yourself?
Love is complicated. We like to think it's simple. That love is an answer, not a question or a process. But love doesn't give us answers. It demands work and effort even as it gives fulfillment.
The biggest problem with loving someone is the blurring of ego boundaries. It's very easy to look at someone you love and see that person as a part of yourself. To deny that person's individuality and see only what that person does for you. But that's not love: that's when love goes wrong. Love is appreciating a person as they are and wanting the best for them. When we're talking about romantic love, that often includes a strong desire to be with that person as much as is feasible. But it's still wanting to be with the person as they currently are. When your definition of love involves molding the person into something "better", what you have is not love.
Familial love can be trickier. We see ourselves in our children, and our parents see themselves in us. It's difficult to see a child's individuality, especially since it is the job of the parent to guide behavior. Finding love instead of domination can be difficult for some people. It's easy to see oneself as part of a family and forget the individuality of the people involved. But family, especially parenthood, involves helping the child grow into the best individual the child can be, not living out one's own dreams through the child.
Love involves a lowering of ego boundaries. When we love, our Flame grows closer to that of our beloved. Love nurtures our Dark Flame and brightens our Bright Flame. We lose something of ourselves when we refuse to love, and we become greater when we open our hearts and let our Flame dance. When we refuse to risk our Flame by opening up to those around us, we stifle our Flames and sputter in our lives.
Love fails and turns into something else when we fail to recognize other people as separate individuals. Love can blur boundaries, as we put the happiness of those we love as a condition for our own happiness. But we are not the ones we love, and they are not us. Celebrating their Flame requires seeing it as not part of our own.
Questions:
How does love blur ego boundaries in your life? Who's ego gets subsumed: yours or the one you love? Either?
Flames burn bright when they burn together. Do you share your life with the ones you love? Do you cling to your ego barriers, or lower them to share your Flame equally?
Do you nurture the Flames of those you love? Do they nurture yours? Can you share love without counting the cost to yourself?
posted by Vieva @ 10:19 AM
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